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  • Kelly Price

A Story in Three Parts

Updated: Jul 9, 2019




July 5, 2019

Dave Matthews Band, Alpine Valley Music Theatre

East Troy, WI




July 5, 2019

The best concert I have EVER BEEN TO IN MY LIFE.

Even though he didn’t play my two favorite songs. The two songs that seem to define my life—the broken and the beautiful—what was and what is.





Grey Street


https://youtu.be/qp3KWrn-VzU


“There’s an emptiness inside her

And she’d do anything to fill it in

But all the colors mix together to grey

And it breaks her heart

And how she wishes it was different

She prays to God most every night

And though she swears He doesn’t listen

There’s still a hope in her He might

She says I pray

Oh, but they fall on deaf ears

Am I supposed to take it on myself

To get out of this place?

Now there’s an emptiness inside her

And she’d do anything to fill it in

And though it’s red blood bleeding from her now

It feels like cold blue ice in her heart

When all the colors mix together

To grey

And it breaks her heart.”

—Dave Matthews Band


Grey street is who I was. Broken.




Samurai Cop(Oh Joy Begin)


https://youtu.be/xRRhH_VS0SU


“Let’s not forget these early days

Remember we begin the same

We lose our way in fear and pain

Oh joy begin

Oh joy begin”

—Dave Matthews Band


Samurai Cop(Oh joy Begin) is who I’ve become. It’s what He has made me. The beautifully broken.




July 5, 2019

The concert that God gifted to me in the midst of a week of trouble, restlessness, fear and doubt.


This past week I have been quiet. More noticeably to some than others, but in particular with regards to social media toward the end of the week. I have been quiet and I have strove and struggled to be still.


Be Still.


He says, be still.


“He says, “Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

—Psalm 46:10


This week my world was filled with trouble.

And oh, was I afraid.


In that moment I was afraid. When came the realization, the revelation, the unexpected took my breath away. It caught me by surprise. It brought me to my knees. And it was oh, so painful.


Peace.


“PEACE I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubledand do not be afraid.”

—John 14:27


Peace.


“I have told you these things so that in me you may have PEACE. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

—John 16:33


Peace.


My word of the year for 2019. Peace. It is the word I chose to intentionally foster in my life, in my soul, in my home...peace...I have been restless for all of my life. I have no peace. I do not know peace.


No Jesus=No Peace

Know Jesus=Know Peace


I was taught that little play on words as a child and it struck something in me even then. Without Jesus there is no peace. There is no hope. There is no hope for peace.


Hope.


“How she wishes it was different

She prays to God most every night

And though she swears He doesn’t listen

There’s still a HOPE in her He might”


Hope.


“Though she swears He doesn’t listen, there’s still a HOPE in her He might.”


Hope.


“People swear by someone greater than themselves, and the oath confirms what is said and puts an end to argument. Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of His purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, He confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the HOPE set before us may be greatly encouraged. We have this HOPE as an anchorfor the soul, firm and secure.”

—Hebrews 6:16-19


Where will you turn in that moment when the realization, the revelation, the unexpected takes your breath away? Catches you by surprise? Brings you to your knees?


My HOPE is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame but wholly lean on Jesus’ name. on Christ the solid rock I stand all other ground is sinking sand.”

—Edward Mote


What a startling and yet simple realization.


Painful.

Broken.

Shattered.

Unearthing.


That leads, drives, compels, spurs, prompts, propels me toward Jesus.


Broken.

Beautiful.

Kintsukuroi.


https://www.thebravestthing.org/post/the-beginning


Broken/Beautiful


Was I broken so I could be made beautiful?


I didn’t know I was beautiful.

I didn’t believe I was loved.


https://www.thebravestthing.org/post/how-i-came-to-be-anorexic


Love.


“He loves us

Oh how He loves us

Oh how He loves us,

Oh how He loves”

—David Crowder


Love.


He loves.

Oh how he loves.

Oh how He loves us.

Oh how He loves ME?


Love.


“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

—John. 3:16


For God so loved the world...for God so loved Kelly?


Was I broken to be made beautiful? Am I being healed and being made whole?


Healing.

Redemption.

Understanding.

Compassion.

Forgiveness.

Growth.

Change.

Birth.

Life.


Only Jesus.

Ever Jesus.

Give me Jesus.


Give Me Jesus.


“Give me Jesus

Give me Jesus

You can have all this world

You can have all this world

You can have all this world

Just give me Jesus.”

—C.S.Brown


https://youtu.be/wS4JQi4dgvg


This whole world is broken and groaning and trembling. Pets die and planes crash and babies are born too soon and too still.

And HE says to me, “Be Still.”

Be still and know that He is God.

Be still, be still, let go.

Let go.


“Let go, my soul, and trust in Him, the waves and wind still know HIS name.”

—Dimarco, Spafford, Bliss


It is well with me.


This week, in the midst of all my trouble, in my fear and uncertainty, when the revelation hit me and the realization became clear and I couldn’t breathe and it drove me to my knees—It led me to Jesus. One thing remained steady and steadfast, firm and unshaken. The solid foundation of Jesus Christ, my Savior. He is my anchor in the storm, my firm footing when everything is shifting, the mighty God I cry out to and who answers me time and again without hesitation & without fail. And though everything churns and heaves in turmoil inside me and around me, This is the one thing that I know.


“Jesus loves me

This I know

For the Bible tells me so.”

—Anna Bartlett Warner


I was taught that song as a child. And this week in the midst of my turmoil and trouble and doubt and despair, that simple chorus over and over and over rang true.

Jesus loves me, this I know.


I do know.

I am beautiful.

I am loved.

I am beautiful because of the way He made me.

I am loved because I am His.


I would exhort and admonish each of you to come to me directly with questions or concerns or thoughts you might have, in fact I’m inviting you to do just that. It is not my intention to be vague or cryptic but I believe there are some things better dealt with privately between myself and the Lord and the tribe of people He has built around me. Please do not turn this into a clamor of gossip, speculation and rumor...it goes contrary to everything I and we as a community are trying to do through this project. If I hear or see comments of that nature I will cut them down immediately at the root and I am asking you to do the same. These things have no place in a Christian community, especially one whose mission and purpose is to restore order and bring healing. I ask you not to question my family, friends or loved ones in regards to any of this—quite simply it is not their story to share. It is mine and I will share it with whom I choose when and if the day comes that I am ready.


Until then I choose JOY.

I choose HOPE.

I choose PEACE.

I choose LOVE.


Sòlo por hoy.

Just for today.

Just give me Jesus.